November is National Novel Writing Month or NaNoWriMo for short. I see some of my writer friends posting about it but I don't entirely understand the premise. I think the idea is that you sit down and write something like 5000 words a day and by the end of the month you have something resembling a novel. I don't consider myself a writer by any means and have no intention of writing an entire novel, but I'm going to make a point of updating my blog more often. And in order to do that, I'm going to get out of this apartment more. I need to join a club or do some volunteering or something.
Last night I had a bit of a breakdown. The excitement and newness is wearing off. I'm starting to feel lonely and homesick. Don't get me wrong, I love Savannah. It's actually going to be hard to leave this amazing weather. I mean, right now, on November 3rd, I'm sitting on my porch in short sleeves and bare feet. I actually could be wearing shorts too because I'm sitting in the sun and it's pretty toasty. At first I was sad to be missing the changing seasons in the mitten but as soon as I heard the word "snow" in the forecast, I changed my mind. I digress. You guys know how shy I am. I've gotten over it a little bit (I literally used to be afraid of my extended family) but I'm still not the type to just strike up conversation with random people. I joined clubs in college but never hung out with the people I met outside of group meetings. So my days here have consisted of keeping up the apartment, watching TV, and hanging out with my dog. And all Justin wants to do on the weekends in lay around the apartment, which is understandable given how much he works. But last night I reminded him that, for the time being at least, he's all the family and friends I've got. And I don't think men care as much about having a social circle. Even when we lived in Michigan, Justin never really went out with the guys. Once in a while he might go golfing with our neighbor or guys from work. My dad doesn't have any friends other than family or my mom's friends' husbands. It's not a bad thing, it's just different and I think maybe Justin doesn't understand. I guess that makes sense if you look at the rest of the animal world. Men are loners and women hang out it groups. Today I feel bad that I got so upset with him because I know that's not what he needs. And my being bored and lonely is within my control. I just need to get over myself and get out more.
And now on a lighter note, the Halloween fiasco. Well, maybe it wasn't a fiasco but it was ridiculous nonetheless. Our porch light has not worked since the day we moved in. Even though it is on the outside of the building, we are responsible for replacing the light bulb. I went out the morning of Halloween to buy a new bulb. I first went to Walmart and bought the wrong bulb. I then headed to Home Depot and was able to locate the correct bulb. Upon returning home, Justin informs me that the light has a sensor on it. So, you leave the switch in the on position and as it gets darker, the light will come on. I put the new bulb in, turned the switch on, and awaited the trick-or-treaters. Some of you may have seen my posts on Facebook wondering where all the kids were. It wasn't until about 8pm, when things are usually winding down, that I took Pepper out and saw my porch light was still not working. So the reason I had no trick-or-treaters was because of me! So obviously there is some kind of electrical issue that we need to let maintenance know about. Thankfully, I had the forethought to buy candy we didn't like and Justin took it all to work with him the next day. Here's hoping Thanksgiving and Christmas go a little better!
<3 its normal to feel this way Jessica, and you are not alone, even if it seems like you are. Ive been there all too many times, and I have to say its a feeling that you get accustomed to, grow numb to maybe...I am not trying to be a downer by any means, but it is hard, especially at our age, in this society, to meet new people. Our generation is growing increasingly dependent on social media and less dependent on social interaction. On a plus side you have a much more outgoing personality than I ever did (that is something I noticed even on the first day we met, despite what you may think and feel about 'shyness'), and I truly believe that you will find your happiness down there much sooner than you may think. I am normally a very optimistic person, and I suppose this is what has kept me sane all these years. Constantly being uprooted and thrown in new situations is so hard...I remember when I was little, my best friend Nikki in New Mexico was the one thing I was looking forward to sooo much when I found out we were going to move back there. when we moved back, I learned she had no interest in being friends again. And this situation occured time and time again when I had to move back and forth to places. I grew to learn how to not have friends...the less chances of being let down I guess. its not so bad...I have Tim :) and if it wasn't for him having an awesome sister and an awesome friend of many many years, I wouldnt have had the best bridal party ever <3 I guess what I am trying to say is maybe look at what you do have, and as horribly difficult as it may be at the time...maybe learn to just take things as they come, and not to look for anything. I saw that you got to skype movie dates, see at least you have that :) You are already sooo much better off than I ever was in your situation <3 I am not trying to compare or make you feel bad or anything like that, I suppose Im just trying to help out (idk if its working or not =/..) but I at least want you to know if nothing else, you are not alone, and if you ever need anything, dont hesitate to get a hold of me. Love you chika, miss you...just keep your head up, things WILL get better..if there is one thing I have ever learned, is that it all just falls into place in time.
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